Opening the door of Stillness

One of the most frequent questions I am asked in reference to my work as a shaman is "what technique do you use to go into trance states?" I suspect that many people are somewhat disappointed when I tell them that, though I also use drums, dance/movement, voice and others, I generally rely on simply moving into a deeply meditative state I call Stillness. Just like the Stillness we use in Sheya, this provides me with a very effective doorway to move into whatever trance state I choose. 

Just this morning, in Temple, I went into stillness and then used that as a doorway to move into Lodge and speak with Grandfather. I've been experiencing a drought of clients recently and I was beginning to wonder if I had fallen out of favor with my ancestors or some other spirits. (I have also been working at moving into shamanic body without my hat. That's another whole entry on its own.) I entered the Tree and spiraled my way down into the Lower World and then sat with Grandfather for awhile trying to determine whether I might be in a bad place with anyone. 

In his zen way, GF assured me that I was okay, but that I needed to reconnect with my ancestors here in the Lower World. We went to where most of my Dad's people are hanging out - looks rather like a mix between Kentucky and County Clare - and left them some more offerings. Gave them my thanks. Got hugs from Mom and Dad. Then came on back.

All that began with being able to move deeply enough into Stillness to find and use the doorway at my center. This makes the rest of the journey possible. And the way to get to that doorway is by regular meditation practice. This doesn't mean listening to a tape with pretty music and a guided visualization to take you to your "happy place." It means sitting with your spine erect and allowing your thoughts to release, letting your attention settle into your center until everything else moves away and you can go deeper. 

This is not exactly an exciting process. In fact, the boredom is one of the layers of resistance that we have to move through in order to reach the goal. You need to be willing to sit through all the clamor of inner voices telling you that you have "better things to do than sit here wasting time." You need to be able to release your thoughts and the attachment to your thoughts until they gradually drop away. This takes time. Practice. Discipline. And no one can do it for you - except you.

namaste

One Center - everywhere

It would be easy to assume that a shaman is necessarily a dualist - that if you see more than one world, then you also see things in terms of black & white; good & bad. 

At least in my case, this is not true. At least on some days of the week, I am an animist, like many shamans. If you take animism to its natural conclusion, this becomes clear: All is One. If we honor the divine in trees and rocks and animals - even humans - then we are seeing the One in every reflection of that One. 

Perhaps the most important lesson Grandfather ever taught me is simply this: There is only One Center. It just happens to be everywhere. 

This is completely consistent with the idea of the holographic or fractal nature of the universe: That you can see the whole in any part, and that by altering one part, you change the whole. 

If we take this further we discover a doorway to infinity. The One Center is set into an infinite source of energy/Qi and leads to anywhere you want to go. Mind you, I've not figured out how to take my physical body with me on these journeys - yet. The One Center is the doorway between the inner and the outer; the upper and the lower; the One and the Other. It is that which both manifests and divides the One - through what we experience as consciousness. 

The shamanic perspective is at one fundamentally pragmatic and practical while still being intimately connected with the spiritual world of the ancestors and the numinous. What gives this perspective such power is the realization that these are two ends of the same perspective. They are not opposites but rather different views of the very same thing. 

The things is, this unity that we experience as a duality can seem quite complex at times. It can be confusing to the senses, the mind, even to the soul, which can yearn for the illusion and for the real at the same time - perhaps because they are truly one and the same. We can talk about escaping from samsara, but it is here - in the heart of what we know to be illusion - that the real is most immediately available in all it's variety and wondrous chaotic magnificence. 

As a shaman, I see many worlds, and yet, each of these worlds is a reflection of the One. This world I'm typing in is another reflection - or emanation - of the One. It is up to us to chose which reflection we experience. We do this by awakening - manifesting the gift of consciousness - to the realization that we can live in heaven or hell. We can be hungry ghosts or gods. The choice is ours. If only we know it. 

namaste

Re-entry from Sirius

Long time - no blog. 

I just got back from a week at Brushwood Folklore Center near Sherman, NY. I arrived late yesterday after driving pretty much non-stop except for gas, with my forearms hennaed with symbols of the work I've been exploring at more depth over the past week. I go there every year for the week before Starwood. Starwood is a really, really BIG neo-pagan festival and generally chaotic gathering put on by ACE of Cleveland, that has grown a bit TOO big for my personal taste. Sirius Rising is a smaller and more spiritually focused gathering that is sponsored by Brushwood and is smaller, quieter and more digestible. 

I spend most of my time there in Camp Sashu - an encampment of folks from various traditions who have been pitching our tents together at the north end of the main field for quite a few years now. We are anchored to the east by Karen's "Crone's Nest," the only permanent structure in camp. We have a series of old pavilions set next to one another creating communal space and surrounded by our personal tents. It's a very comfortable and welcoming space with good people and stable, safe energy. 

From time to time I emerge from this comfortable cocoon to wander the rows off merchants, get something to eat at Phill's Grill or the Café, take a shower and hang out in the hot tub solving the problems of the world. 

Somehow I managed to teach a workshop, lead a ritual, attend Elisheva's workshops and an Efa Misse (?) ritual, all without keeling over. 

The workshop on Post-Tribal Shamanism went well; good attendance and interesting people. There was a fellow shaman there - with quite a different background. His name is Jase and he comes from the North American Medicine traditions. He seems like a solid fellow, with some good teachings to pass on. I'm afraid I may have stepped on his toes a bit, asking too many questions, but it's rare that I get to interact with someone else who is doing this work in a sincere and effective manner. I didn't get to chat with him nearly as much as I would have liked.

The Post Tribal Healing ritual went well - as far as the participants were concerned. The healing work went well and was received, however I felt unhappy about the work, because I had been up late the night before at the Efa ritual and so my energy was low and somewhat sluggish. I think I was also remembering how powerful and effective the ritual I did there last year was and I was hoping for a movement forward from there. I suspect that I did make a step forward. It just didn't look like I expected or like I wanted it to. 

I won't say much about the Efa rite, because it's not my story to tell. I passed along some messages that were well received and also some that were less well received. It didn't wrap up until after 1:00 am, so I was a bit crispy for my own ritual the next morning. 

Eli's workshops went well and I got a couple intuitional breakthroughs that feel important to me. One was during the workshop on the secrets of the Menorah. Essentially it was a connection between Asherah/Ashrat who is symbolized as a pillar; the legend that the Asherah was present in Solomon's Temple; the description of the two pillars - one black, one white - which stand at the entrance of the Temple; and, the fact that the columns were "named" Boaz and Joakim, for which there is no other reference. A cover up for the presence of the Hebrew Goddess who later became the Black and White Madonna? The other insight came during the Neo-Tribal Ethics workshop, when I realized that the traditional elements of the communal ecology still exist in our post-tribal culture, they have simply become de-personalized and abstracted into "government" and "the bureaucracy". (Yes - obvious - I know.)

It was wonderful - as it is every year - to reconnect with various friends and acquaintances made over the years, and to make a few new connections with other fellow travelers. But the heart of it was - for the first time in many years - the fire. I used to be able to do tremendous work around the nightly fires at Brushwood, but for the last decade, the fires have been taken over by hordes who want to party and grope, with no interest in spiritual growth. This year was an exception. The drumming was much more focused. The energy was cleaner. And the whole setting was more supportive to doing work. I was actually able to trancedance around the fire for over 3 hours on Friday night. As I wandered back toward camp Sashu afterwards, I came upon a fire by the north pavilion which was clearly designed to be a more spiritual fire, but it had too much chanting and "performance" energy for me to really rest into it. Never-the-less I went to sleep happy that night, and I came home deeply satisfied and ready to hang out with my lovely and talented Beloved and her cats. 

Namaste

Jai, groundlessness!

Coming out of a funk of groundlessness yesterday, I was struck by the way in which this state of "I have no sense of ground beneath my feet" can contribute to the awakening of my deeper Self. The sages tell us that sitting in the discomfort of groundlessness and simply acknowledging it works wonders, but I've not had much opportunity lately. Things have generally been going so well that it was difficult to summon up a real sensation of discomfort - much less groundlessness. 

To be clear - what I'm talking about it that very real awareness of the impermanence of everything - including yourself. It often comes up during periods of major transition - like death. It reminds us of something our egos usually manage to ignore, with varying degrees of bliss: Namely that we are not the constant and unchanging "thing" that we might like to believe that we are. That everything we see and smell and touch and love will pass away, as will we. 

You can tell when the groundlessness has hit, because of the welling sense of existential nausea that begins to flow from your center, adding a jaundiced tint to everything you encounter. Now remember: This is what you've been hoping for! Keep that in mind. Now go and sit in this discomfort. Watch it. Observe how your ego writhes in agony. See the monkey mind bounce off the walls and scream. All is well.

Once you reach that place of the calm inner smile, begin to feed the discomfort like a fire. Let it burn all the parts of your perceived self away. This makes room for your true Self to emerge. 

Resting in the inner smile, your true Self takes on the cloak of permanence and plays the game of forgetting and becomes the little self. 

No beginning. No end. All is One.

namaste

LumensGate coming of age

Over eighteen years ago, Keter and I - along with Elise, Sam, Tara and a few other folks - founded Lumensgate. The idea was to have a venue for effective transformative ritual. We started at Brushwood Folklore Center near Sherman, NY. Primitive camping, co-ed showers and rained out rituals were the norm - along with the occasional seasonal camper showing up during our ritual cycle and freaking out our participants. We were too small - less than 100 people - to reserve the whole space for our private use and so after six (?) years we moved to Four Quarters Nature Sanctuary, near Artimas, PN. The primitive camping, outdoor showers and rained out rituals continued. But we now had shelters to eat under and Holly began creating the beginnings of a meal plan. 

And it was all worth it. Each year we created a ritual cycle on a theme that we received from the LG gestalt. We re-united the Virgin and the Whore; the God and the Goddess; the magickal and the mundane. We opened our hearts to Community; connected with the Divine; and, retraced our ancestor's steps through the Dreamtime. As a gestalt, LumensGate has grown and matured over the years, taking many of its participants with it. 

The heart of the event was - and is - the heartfire that is lit at the opening ritual and extinguished at the closing. This fire is where the three worlds come together and the One Center opens to allow us to do the work we come there to do. 

Three years ago, with many of our staff and participants no longer so willing and/or able to handle sleeping on the ground and getting rained on for several days at a time, we made our second move from Four Quarters to Hope Springs Institute - near Peebles, OH. This move brought with it many changes. Our costs skyrocketed. (Moving from primitive camping to a retreat center will do that.) Our attendance, already small, dropped off. Many of the folks who had thought of LumensGate as a magickal or neo-pagan gathering, didn't like the shift to a more expensive venue. That first year at Hope Springs, we were not sure if we would be going forward - but by the end of that event it was quite clear that we were. 

Hope Springs has been great. It feels like this is the first location for LumensGate that is a real "fit" for the work we are doing. Their sense of maintaining sacred space and stewarding the land reflects our own perspectives. In many ways, it's like finally coming home. And this partnership has helped to support my own sense of LumensGate's continued growth and momentum. We've even discussed the possibility of adding additional "editions" of LumensGate in different parts of the country, using the spiritual tech we develop for the one at Hope Springs. Very exciting! But the best thing that has come out of the past several years is the maturation and integration of our planning staff. Keter and I are the only ones from the original crew, but Donna has been with us for 16 years and Patricia has been on staff for 9 years. Over the past few years we've joked that between the four of us we have a single brain. This has been a powerful experience for me - never having been much of a team player. I have had the pleasure, honour and challenge of serving with a group of unique and amazing peers. 

Last week, Donna - our Registration Goddess for the past 16 years or so - invited Patricia and I for lunch. It was a great lunch in her lovely house, with her dog Gandolf keeping us company. There she informed us that she is leaving in September for Montana and would no longer be able to serve on the staff for LumensGate. This was hard to accept, but it was clear in her voice that this was coming from the root of her being. All we could do was honour her choice and be prepared to grieve when she leaves. 

Just yesterday we had our first planning staff meeting for LG '09. At the top of the agenda was "staff transitions." I was thinking that this would be a discussion of who we would be asking to join staff and how they would be brought onboard. Instead, we found out that Keter too will be leaving LG. We knew that she was planning to move to San Francisco, but there had been talk about her flying back for staff meetings. Now it is clear that this won't happen either. It was an emotional and difficult meeting for all of us. 

I feel that both Keter and Donna are doing what they need to do to be true to their inner voices. I respect that - even as I grieve their loss. We will not be able to replace either of them, and there will two big holes in the inner landscape of LG for a long time to come. 

Now the question is: Where do we go from here? It would almost be easier to let go of LumenGate - to allow it to dissolve. But that would not be true to MY inner voice. So I find myself in a difficult place. I feel the need, not only to continue, but to grow LumensGate - to establish additional events that use the rituals and exercises we create for the main one. But in order to do that, we need funds - resources to invest in promoting LumensGate to a much broader marketplace. LumensGate is the premier ritual event in North America, and there are many people who are hungry for what we have to offer, but hardly anyone knows about it. 

I realize that we cannot make this happen with the resources we currently have. We need people who understand promotional work and who can help take us to this next level. So I am putting this dream out to Spirit. And humbly asking for help.

namaste

$pirituality - the conflict between money and awakening

There is a long-standing conflict in the minds of many - if not most - modern people between spirituality and money. As a working shaman and a Sheya mentor and initiator, this is an issue I have had to work with for over twenty years now - and I'm still trying to get to the bottom of it. 

There are several pieces to this puzzle. One is the way that money has come to symbolize all things material, when spirituality is so often seen as the antithesis of materialism. Another is the idea that spiritual instruction should be freely given and available to all, regardless of the sacrifices of those who offer it. 

I have come to a place in my own journey where I find these two suggestions absurd. Well grounded spirituality is about integrating the whole. As long as we keep any part of the whole outside of us and paint it with the brush of shadow, we cannot be truly liberated. It is only when we realize that WE are the ones who give money - and anything else - its perceived value, that we are set free of that projection, to use use money as a simple means of storing and directing energy. As for the belief that spiritual instruct

ion should be freely given and available to all, how are we to offer instruction is we don't set good examples. Would you take diet advice from an obese nutritionist? Marital advice from a counselor who have been divorced several times? Why would you take advice on how to live a full and happy life from someone who is neither? 

This is not to say that money is any indicator of health, happiness or fulfillment. In many cases, it has no bearing at all. However, being free of the stigmatized shadows we project onto money IS a good indicator of these things. As is the ability to meet ones responsibilities in an effective manner. 

It is my considered opinion - at least at the moment - that any system of spiritual growth that does not maintain a healthy balance of giving and receiving, is not offering its membership a viable role-model. I realize that I am a dyed in the wool non-dualist and this may have some bearing on what I consider to be effective and healthy spirituality - but there you have it.

namaste

awakening the teacher

For many years I have been rolling around the idea of "teacher" in my head - trying to figure out just what we mean by this word. 

As language is painted onto the essential concepts that we try to communicate, a veil is placed between the person who expresses the concept and the one who receives that expression. And yet, without that veil, would we even be able to communicate as well as we can? 

This particular concept has been calling my attention more lately as I've been designing a training program for Sheya mentors. Even there - in the choice of the word "mentor" instead of "teacher" - is a further attempt to communicate some essential variation on the concept, which is probably lost in the process. For me - though I still haven't quite gotten "teacher" firmly delineated - "mentor" is one who supports and assists the student through a process which they have voluntarily taken on. It is less concerned with passing on specific information than it is with helping the student through the various pitfalls and avalanches of the chosen path. 

This realization about "mentor" reminds me of the confusion arising from "teacher". There are teachers who stand at the head of a class and shove information into children's heads. There are teachers who sit in caves and spout nonsense to awaken their occasional visitors. There are teachers who have no contact at all with their students, but create patterns of words and images that continue to instruct others for generations after their own death. 

With this wide spectrum of usage, we really need to be clear what we mean when we say, "this is my teacher." It could mean anything from "I take a French class from this person" to "This person has awoken my soul." 

This leads to the question of what is my role when I accept someone as my student. If I believe that I'm being asked to help them awaken their soul and they think I'm just going to spoon-feed them some intellectual "mysteries" that will allow them to live a more interesting life - we have a problem. It is my responsibility to communicate the essential nature of the service I intend to provide to any potential student - along with any boundaries, expectations and goals pertaining to the relationship. 

Over the past 20 years or so that I have served as a teacher (with varying degrees of competence and incompetence) I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing that prepares you for the task other than actually doing it. If a person is open to learning from their students, they gradually improve their teaching. This has been my experience and it continues to awaken my capacity to teach at deeper levels. I would say that I have learned considerably more since becoming a teacher than I knew when I started. And the process continues!

namaste