Soul Healing

This term – "Soul Healing" – can be read in two ways: Either as the healing of a wounded or damaged soul, or the healing the Soul offers the ego. Shamanic practice makes use of both of these meanings.

First – a brief overview of what we mean by "Soul" and how it is viewed from a shamanic perspective. From the perspective of my teachers, each human being has at least three souls while they are alive in the physical body. One of these souls comes to them at birth from their physical ancestors, and ties them to these ancestors throughout their life and even after death. I call this the "Ancestral Soul." There is also a Soul that has lived other lifetimes before this one, and will probably choose to live other lifetimes in the future. I call this the "Reincarnating Soul" or "Infinite Soul." Finally, many shamans would consider the ego, the part of you that thinks of itself as "me" and which is formed by the interaction between your other souls and your physical body, creating an interface with the world we experience around us.

At the death of the physical body, the first two souls tend to move toward the ancestors, into the Under World, while the ego portion will tend to stay near the body until it gradually dissolves. Once in the Under World, the two remaining souls will rest, coming to resolution about their shared lifetime. When this is reached, the Infinite Soul will rise up through the World Tree to the Upper World, where it will make itself available to a new baby being born into the Middle World. Here it will combine with a different Ancestral Soul and gradually form a new ego.

When it comes to healing, these different Soul provide radically diverse opportunities. The Infinite Soul is the one part of the Self that does not change. Communing with this Soul; moving into the awareness of this Soul and resting there, is a profound healing practice that impacts all the other parts that make up our sense of self, including body, mind and energy. In short, this is done by a regular practice of sitting meditation that focuses on resting in Soul Awareness. The Ancestral Soul, on the other hand, is very likely to be carrying distortions from the traumas and wounds of previous generations of the family. These wounds can be healed to a great extent, if the Soul is willing and open to the process. Finally, the ego – if we are to consider this a soul as well – carries its own share of injuries from this current incarnation, much of which can be addressed by a competent therapist. Still, there are things that can be quite helpful in the healing of the ego, which modern therapists tend to shy away from. One example of this is "soul retrieval" which can be a very effective treatment for ego/soul trauma.

This blog post is only a brief overview. Depending on responses, I may go into more detail on this in later posts.

The Ambiguity of Shamanic Practice

In art, when two shapes are very close together or touching, this creates a visual situation that is often uncomfortable for the viewer. This is even clearer in the classic image that can be seen as either two profiles or as a vase. The mind can look at one or the other, but has difficulty seeing both simultaneously. In a similar way, the shaman is constantly dealing with a much larger paradox: That of the soul and the ego. The awareness of the soul is non-dual and lacking in the sense of self, while the consciousness arising from ego is locked into the dualistic world of time, space, and all the related bits and pieces.

This makes for a situation which most people find distinctly uncomfortable, but which is necessary for the shaman to maintain in order to do the work of healing the soul level wounds. Much of this healing is accomplished by the shaman maintaining an open awareness of soul while holding the client within the field of this awareness. This allows the soul of the client to align with the client's ego in a productive and healing (and Mysterious) way. This is a fascinating subject in its own right, but for the moment, I am focusing only on the ambiguous nature of the practice for the shaman.

Another classic example of the ambiguous nature of shamanism is Journeying. This is usually done by extending the consciousness of the shaman into a different body – one that is capable of moving into and through the three worlds and beyond – while still maintaining some function in the physical body and ordinary consciousness as well. So you are sitting in your physical body and speaking to a client about what you are experiencing simultaneously in your shamanic body. This is rather like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time – only more so.

The root of this ambiguous nature is simply this – and it actually applies to everyone and everything, but shamans tend to be more impacted by it – that the nature of existence is both absolute and relative. This means that the relative world – the one we generally consider "real" – is present on one hand, while on the other, the absolute is also present. To make this a tad clearer, I will offer my personal favorite creation story.

Before the beginning and outside of space, the One rests in its own awareness. This One contains all that is. It is a resonating singularity, unexpressed in any way, until it looks into the void and sees its own reflection. Its response is to jerk away from this reflection, this "other." This response sends the One away from itself. This movement creates the very space through which it moves, and creates time by moving from one moment to the next. This flight from itself continues until the One – now manifesting as two – begins to yearn for the wholeness of itself. Much like a rubber band will resist being drawn out too far, and upon release, will try to return to its original shape, the Two/One begins to move back towards its source. However, having created the relative world of duality, it is now trapped within this creation. As the separated parts of the whole come back together – now manifesting as the primal duality of Matter and Energy – they find instead that they cannot reunite, but can only connect in a more limited fashion. Matter is suffused with energy and becomes animated. Energy is contained by Matter and experiences resistance. This mutual experience is the birth of Consciousness. Consciousness is the reflection of the Awareness of the One, within the world that is created by its dissolution.

Clearer?

revving up the blog & the difference between Shamanism and Therapy

Okay - so. Just has a meeting with some students from the University Marketing Department, who gently reminded me that I need to be updating my blog at least once a week...as opposed to once every six months. In the interest of getting off on a fresh start, I offer the following:

A couple weeks ago, someone questioned the validity of my delineation of shamanism and psychotherapy, and I was not able to give a satisfactory response. Having given the matter some thought, I'm still not sure I can clearly articulate the difference. However, I am becoming much more aware of the quandary.

What I have said is that "the psychotherapist aims to heal the mind, while the shaman aims to heal the soul." While this is true, at least in many cases, it doesn't really address the fact that "soul" and "mind" are only words we use to map the landscape of the human experience. I cannot even say that the tools and intention of shaman and therapist are all that disimilar. The more I work with really excellent therapists, the more I come to see what they are doing as shamanism by another name. At the same time, the way the psychotherapeutic literature describes the process excludes much of that the shaman offers.

As a shaman, I can go to places on the map of human experience that most psychologists or therapists are trained to avoid. I can speak of the spirits of ancestors and of connecting with missing pieces of the soul, or of journeying to the spirit of the land to make peace with the place you live. On the other hand, I do not work in terms of diagnosis and I am constantly holding an intention of integration toward wholeness in my awareness, which guides my words and actions when in session with a client. Perhaps it is this difference of focus and mapping that allows me to differentiate my work from that of the psychotherapist.

I will dwell on this more. Thanks for getting me thinking about this Joshua.

the Deer Hunt – part I

It is 6:05 AM. I have just forced myself from bed in the still dark hotel room. Stumbling over pillows and comforter knocked to the floor during a night of tossing and turning, I make my way to the lit bathroom and crank on the shower. A few minutes later, much refreshed by the scent blocker bath gel, I pull on my layers of hunting garb and prepare to head out in to the early morning. I stuff my army surplus pockets with sheath knife, binoculars, freezer bag, vinyl gloves, hunting license and permit, tag protector, cell phone (on vibrate) and permission form, signed by the owner of the land I'm headed out to hunt.

I scouted the land again yesterday afternoon, stopping by at the house to pay my respects to Gene. On my walk down the access road, I watched a snake slither across my path just ahead of me. I smiled at the good omen. Everything looked good. Plenty of deer sign, though I didn't spot any actual deer. I did check out the man-made pond, where I saw a yellow spotted frog, and a dried creek-bed, where I saw a chipmunk and lots of deer tracks. I took time to connect in with the land spirit as well as Deer spirit and Grandfather. All signs looked good. After a few hours of practicing my somewhat silent and stealthy stalking, I went off in search of a hotel room for the night.

Arriving at Gene's farm house, I kill my lights before they can shine in his windows and park in front of the open pole barn. I open the back of my car and begin going over my checklist. I seem to have everything I will need. I consider taking the coil of rope with me, just in case I get lucky first thing and need to string up the carcass to do the field dressing, but I don't want to load myself down, so I decide I will come back for it after I tag the deer. I take only one arrow, with the assumption that I probably won't have more than one chance to shoot anything. Knocking the arrow, I head out for the access road. It is still mostly dark as I practically skip down the partially graveled road. I am moving as quietly, but quickly as I can, balancing speed and quiet for what I hope is a happy medium. I see the turnout for the pond and move more slowing in hopes of surprising some deer at their morning drink. No luck. It's just me and a few birds. I take up a position on the far side of a small mound, so that I will be out of sight of any does and bucks that come wondering up from the west.

I've been squatting here for over an hour. The sun is above the horizon. Fish are popping the surface of the pond and a duck flies overhead – but no deer. I move into shamanic body and journey into the Under World to chat with Deer. I assure the Old One that I am here to honor the old contract between humans and the deer. I make offerings of tobacco, corn, salt and beans. I've been making these visits for the past month, leaving offerings and asking for Deer to help me find one of HIr people on this hunt. As usual, I don't get much of an answer. The dew is beginning to dry on my bow where it has settled into the long, sawtoothed grass. It is time to move.

Cutting back across the access road, I decide to try some more stalking. I wade into the waist-high weeds at the tree line, carefully turning to avoid the curving limbs of berry bushes with their hooked thorns. Now I want to be really quiet, so I go to stalking mode and am doing pretty well, until I lose my balance and come down hard on some twigs, snapping them loudly in the stillness beneath the trees. There is nothing I can do about it, but I begin moving even more slowly, carefully threading my way towards a large tree that probably has a clearing around it. As I approach the tree, I see that someone has built a tree stand against the trunk . . . several years ago, and it is now hanging off at an angle. Not something I would want to try to climb. Peering through the undergrowth, I spot another big tree that I think I recognize from my scout yesterday. It has wide undulating branches that make it look a little "spooky." Smiling to myself, I begin working my way through the trees, brambles, berry bushes and assorted unknowns toward this landmark.

Suddenly aware that I could get lost in here, I stop to orient myself. I can make out the open sun-lit space of the access road off to my left. The spooky tree is straight ahead. That puts Gene's house and fields beyond that, which means that I have already strayed out of the proscribed hunting zone (the farm I have a signed permission form for) and into what I've been told "shouldn't be a problem." Forging ahead, I make it to the tree with spreading arms. The undergrowth is more sparse beneath the limbs of the tree, so I can move more freely. I peer off in all directions, wondering where the deer may have bedded down for the day. I touch the ground with my fingers and send a prayer to the land spirit, asking for its help on this hunt.

How the Role of the Shaman has Evolved

In the early hunter-gatherer cultures, there is substantial evidence to suggest that the shaman's role covered a lot of territory. The shaman was the healer, the seer, priest, storyteller, judge and even war leader at times. As society became more settled, moving to agriculture and cities, there was more excess food to support those who didn't directly work at finding or making the food. This lead to specialization. Roles that were originally part of the shaman were taken on my others. Priests, diviners, storytellers and others developed their own niches in the culture, and the role of the shaman become more focused on direct communication with the world of spirit.

This original state developed to what we see today in many traditional cultures. The shaman takes care of healing the wounds of the spirit while the medicine man or woman heals the ills of the body. The two often work in tandem for their patients.

In our post-tribal world, we see that the shaman is re-emerging in response to a need that is not being met by the mainstream religions or modern psychology. This need is the soul's hunger for connection – with the earth, our ancestors, the divine and our own selves.

This is the work of the shaman in our current western culture: To bring the pieces of the whole Self back together, realigning mind, body and spirit into Human Being.

New Post-Tribal Shamanic Video – Shamanic Journeying VS Creative Visualization

Changes, Constants and Groundlessness

An old and cherished friend came to visit from California the other day. She has known me since the early 80's, when my focus of personal transformation was on western magick. On this visit she asked me what happen with that. Essentially, how did I go from being focused on magick to shamanism. I had to explain that, at least for me, magick was a practice of getting the whole world to respond to my will. It was focused on evolving the ego into something more divine. Shamanism takes a more humble perspective. It recognizes that there are things that are within my control and others that are not. My favorite analogy is the surfer. He has to know what he can control and what he can't. He can pick which wave he wants to ride. He can position himself on his board. But if he tries to control the wave, he just gets wet.

In thinking about this movement, from thinking that I could control everything around me to realizing that I can only control myself and how I respond to my environment, I see that there is a constant as well. One thing that has not changed is the lure of personal growth, realization and awakening. This draws me forward through all my changes, renewing my sense of awe and keeping me from any final, static "answer."

This is the state I find myself in now, today, here: Groundlessness is. That things will change is inevitable. Even what I perceive as constant will be transformed. Shamanism is, and has been for quite awhile now, a good means of focusing the momentary answers that are working for me on this part of the journey. My own personal path, Sheya, has also changed with this journey. It began as a system of magick and is now more of a dharma path or shamanic practice. And yet, the constants are there as well.

The constant is the essential truth within the whole, which is gradually revealed through time, by the inevitable artistry of change – all on the canvass of groundlessness.

Or at least that's how it seems to me this morning. . . .

A Shamanic Perspective on Belonging

When our soul wants to enter into this world, it requires a means of doing so. To do this, it works with our ancestors to create a vehicle to carry it into and through this life. We call this the physical body. The soul then uses this body and all its senses to act as a lens through which it enters the world. But as soon as it passes through the lens into the world, it becomes caught up in the senses, the information, the overwhelming complexity of sound, color, texture, scent and emotion. What joy! This part of the soul that has arrived in the world is then shaped by the experience of being here, and it gradually forgets that it is only a small part of a greater whole. It begins to believe that it is a separate and unique individual. We generally refer to this delusion of the soul as "ego."

Somewhere along the way, our human community lost touch with the sense of the greater soul and where we came from began acknowledging only the part of the self that was lodged in the physical vehicle. This began to break down the structure of communities that were based on a recognition of the deeper connections residing in the greater part of the self – what we are calling the soul. As we drifted further away from our roots beyond this limited existence, we forgot that the ego is only a delusion of the soul, and that its "death" is nothing more than the soul emerging from a deeply engrossing exploration of this world, through the physical body and its senses. This delusion had developed its own beliefs and valued its existence above all else. It saw that death was a great Mystery and insisted that it not be forced to look into it until there was no other choice.

Since it no longer felt the connection with its own greater self, the ego began to feel a great and insatiable hunger. This was/is of course the hunger to remember the connection with soul, but since to do so would break the illusion of sovereignty, the ego instead finds other ways to feed this hunger. Among other ways, it seeks to "belong." It creates further depth of illusion by assuming that this great hunger arises from an unmet need to feel that it has a place of its own. Difficult, considering its very ground of being is that which it rejects in order to be. (Sartré would love that one.)

From the view of the shaman, there is no NOT-belonging. The essence of existence is being. The rest is all commentary. To heal the wound that hungers to belong, our egos need to be able to recognize that they are part of something much larger, which extends beyond the world of physical senses. There are many paths to do this, and none are easy. Because we have been so long away from the realization of the soul, it takes a lot of personal work and usually some intense crisis to break through the delusion. And even then the ego continues to struggle. Such is life in this world. A great joy and/or great suffering.

A Great Man

As a new father, it's sometimes difficult to keep up with my daily meditation practice - among other things. I'm sure this is not news to anyone who is a parent. (Which reminds me that I am discovering the greatest appreciation and respect for anyone who has ever had children. It is an amazing and overwhelming experience.) Yesterday I had gone running in the early morning with my friend and running buddy, Jeff, and had come home to a busy house where I was needed by my wife and daughter, so Stillness did not happen as I had planned.

The day was not over though. I had been hired to officiate at a funeral out near Seaman, Ohio. Someone was looking for a shaman and found me through my website. At about ten after four, I found myself sitting in my car at the edge of a gravel road leading into the Tranquility Wildlife Area. It struck me that I was about ten minutes early, so I decided to meditate in the car. I was assuming that I would be pulled out of my Stillness at any time by the arrival of the funeral party. It took me awhile to let go of the expectation that they would be showing up at any moment. Finally I settled in and let go of time and place and expectation.

When they did show up, 20 minutes late, I was in a very good place. I followed them down the deeply potholed gravel access road for almost a mile before we pulled off into a small field and parked. The fellow who had hired me was an Army sergeant in dress blues, with his Korean wife and 4 year old daughter. They were joined by some twenty or so family and friends who were there to say goodbye to his father. He recounted briefly the times that his father had brought him out to this very spot to camp. Here he had come to appreciate the power and serenity of nature and to deepen his relationship with his father. The service was short and uncomplicated. I said a few words about the different parts of the soul, about ancestors and about the unceasing love of parents for their children and children for their parents. I asked the physical soul of the departed to enter into some water and then his son poured this water reverently at the roots of a huge oak. We made offerings to the four directions and asked the ancestors to welcome him home. The son scattered his father's ashes, said a few more words and we were finished.

As I watched the tears of those gathered there I was struck by something my wife said recently: that the mark of a great man is that he is surrounded by though who love him. It was clear to me that this was a great man. It was a good ride home.

Unlocking the Hidden Teachings

I've been thinking of how I can do more to promote the teachings of Post-Tribal Shamanism to the people who are craving the message that they really can and do connect with the Earth, Spirit, their ancestors and the divine. It's sometimes a little overwhelming, when I look at all the sites on the internet – all the different voices proclaiming a Shamanic Renaissance.

One of the places I've been thinking about presenting is the MidWest Crystal Conference. This presents a bit of a quandary, since I don't use crystals and stones in the same way that "new agers" do. At the same time, I've been thinking about how the Tibetans talk about terma – ancient teachings that have been intentionally hidden, locked away in stones, and space and places of power, to be discovered by realized masters at an appropriate time. It seems to me that a lot of these teachings are being discovered in the current age, and not only in Tibet. There are so many ancient teachings that are re-emerging into active practice in our modern age. I'm confident that it is not only in the mountains of Tibet that such treasures were hidden away for future generations to reveal. I suspect that the teachings of Sheya, that I believed I was "just making up" were actually hidden terma revealed by my explorations.

Apparently, these hidden treasures can be found almost anywhere. Could it be that there is an abundance of realized masters in this age, or is it that the wrathful guardian demons who protect these teachings are feeling the need of our world and allowing the teachings to be set loose for our healing? In this time of both great danger and great wealth – huge awakening and great ignorance - what better time is there than now?

Working with plant spirits

I'm currently putting together a short "playshop" for some of my students to learn how to make a flying ointment – a salve that assists in leaving the physical body to journey otherworld. As much as I'm looking forward to working with the plant spirits, I'm really going to enjoy puttering around in the kitchen with my friends for the afternoon. That said, it occurs to me that I need to start reacquainting myself with the necessary spirits so that I am ready to do the work. In the past, I've found to my chagrin that spirits are much like people in that they don't appreciate it if you only come calling when you want something.

Once I get back in touch with the spirits of the plants, I will need to begin exploring the specifics of the recipe, which tend to vary from one batch to the next. The quantity of each herb in the mix depends on the strength of that plant when it is harvested, relative to the other ingredients. This is further complicated by the fact that the main active ingredient is being cultivated by one of my apprentices rather than in my own garden. So I think she will have an opportunity to get to know that one a bit better before our kitchen encounter.

I have a somewhat strange sense of anticipation about this – possibly because I've never mixed up an ointment with a group. This has always been a very internal and solitary part of my practice, and in a very real way, the person I was when I last did this no longer exists. So this will be new in more ways than one.

From Sirius Rising

This festival has been an annual milestone for me for many years. This year is no exception. With my wife and daughter at home, my usual yearning to be there with them is more intense than ever. Still, I have done some good work here at Sirius over the years, and I suppose I have a somewhat superstitious sense that it would not be a good idea to break this tradition.

I could tell that I was having a lot of resistance because it took me so long just to pack my car and get on the road yesterday. The six hour long drive did it's usual work of gradually shifting me into an altered state that deepened further when I arrived and set up my tent. I had promised my lovely & talented wife, Patricia that I would make good use of the time away from her and Meghan, so I began sorting through my plans for how to make the most of the next few days.

This morning I folded brochures, made notes for my workshop and missed my girls at home. What I had not reckoned on was that persistent state of altered consciousness we sometimes refer to as "festival space." It's a light trance that doesn't really make its self known until you try to function as if you were in ordinary space. Then you run into the trance haze and have to slow down and become very deliberate about each task. As I packed things up for my workshop today, I made sure I had the brochures, the video camera, my marked up copy of Dance of Stones along with a box of 40 copies (unmarked).

Almost as soon as we started the video camera battery died, but otherwise things went well, though I only sold one book after the workshop. Just another opportunity to let go of my lust for results and recognize that I am doing my best – even when it doesn't accomplish as much as I would like.

And I have managed to drive back into town this evening and find a place with free Wi-Fi to make my blog entry, so . . . not bad!

Post Holiday Catch-up

A lot has happened over the past few days (weeks?), some of which has excellent entertainment value. It was great having Lisa visit from Germany. It had been six years or so since we had last seen her, and eight since she had last visited here. So she got to meet our new house and many new friends. We had some of those friends over for dinner and I overheard one of them saying to Lisa, "Oh! You're Soli!" to which she replied, "no - I'm not. I'm Lisa." Her tone was quite deadpan, but I wasn't too surprised when I later heard her threatening to write her own version of our trip through Europe and come up with her own version of me as a character in her book. Now THAT could be entertaining! (See if you can pick out Lisa in the photo above.)

As I said though, it was great to have Lisa here and we were sorry to see her go. It's hard to really keep in touch over such distances, but you can tell the real friends by the way you can pick back up even after so many years and have such comfort with each other. I hope it won't be nearly as long before we have the opportunity to spend some more quality time together.

It is clear that I've had a bit of writer's block - again. This time

it took out the whole of the holidays - from solstice all the way through New Year's - pretty impressive. So now I will do my best to make up for lost time -and maybe even make it worth you're while to keep checking back in for updates. 

We really enjoyed Lisa's visit, but we are far from her only friends here in the states, so we had to share her with her good friend Marcie down in Tennessee, and then with Tyler and Gary in New York. She took a bus down to Tennessee about a week after getting here, so the jet lag had worn off by then. On the way back she was serenaded by a group of girls singing Christmas carols. Unfortunately they didn't know all the words and so the woman sitting next to her would chime in over her knitting with the final verses. 

I will throw in a quick announcement here too that Patricia and I are officially expecting a girl to join the family in late May. So far, her name is "Peanut" but that will probably change at some point . . . then again.

Vision Quest Aftermath

I just got back early this week from a vision quest that lasted from Friday afternoon to Monday morning and I've been trying to write about it with no success. At first it was the lack of verbal thoughts, which persisted all of Monday and a bit into Tuesday morning. Having spent some time out on the front porch with my pipe and a wee dram, things are a bit more clear now. 

Perhaps the first reason that it is difficult to put down in words is due simply to the state of consciousness that comes on after a day or so of sitting in the woods with no company, no food and little water or sleep. We went out on Friday afternoon and prepared our secluded positions, taking them up that evening in the continuing rain. After the first night, I was probably already more altered than I realized at the time. That's often the way of things. I was chanting and meditating a lot, with the intention of altering my consciousness, so it's hardly surprising. But it wasn't until Sunday that I really noticed the extend to which I was no longer in ordinary state. I found that I was actually staggering a bit when I did my morning QiGong. 

The second reason it's difficult to put into words is that much of what happened seemed to be happening to a part of me that was not directly experiencing it. There was at least one point at which I had the distinct impression that my soul had gone on a journey without "me" and that I would only find out about it later. (I'm still waiting.)

Then there's the fact that what realizations I had were fairly . . . compact. For instance, a glimpse of myself in slow motion explosion from my center/the one center which is everywhere/everything constantly emerging from that one center which is everywhere. . . that sort of thing. And GrandFather mentioning that I should really consult him more before doing something like a vision quest (oops!).

But this quality of vagary predated the vision quest as well. Going into it, I realized that I have never led anyone else into this particular process before. I've been teaching shamanic practices since the early 90's, but none of my apprentices have gotten to this point before. (And I'm quite impressed with these two for having made it!) So there was a lot of consideration that went into just how this was going to work. On the one hand, there are no clear parameters for what constitutes a "vision quest" outside of particular medicine societies. So I had to look at my own experiences (should have asked GrandFather) and come up with something that was workable. Then I began thinking, "this is not a coming of age ritual. These are sovereign adults. They should make their own choices about what elements they will include." And so I began drawing back from the role of "teacher" into more of a facilitator position for their process. 

Okay - that's all I'm up for tonight. More on this tomorrow.

Shamanic States of Consciousness

There is a lot written about the experience of trance - some of it quite excellent. However, I thought I would take a shot at it this morning. 

First off - the idea of "altered state" is difficult to clearly delineate, since the boundaries of our "ordinary" state of consciousness are so unclear as it is. That said, most of us car recognize an altered state once we are in it. In, my own experience, there is often a dream like quality, and my body seems to move more fluidly and feel heavier. However, some of the most effective states can feel very similar to the ordinary state. 

When I talk about shamanic states of consciousness (hereafter SSC), I am focusing on those states which allow me to function as a shaman. This includes the ability to simply perceive and express from a soul level of awareness. This is the base level of SSC for me. It allows me to sense what is going on with myself and a client in a non-rational, non-intellectual manner that cuts through the thinking mind and directly addresses the deeper parts, which is where my work is. This state is a very present, focussed awareness, which doesn't feel too different from ordinary consciousness. And yet it is the one most useful to the work I do, since it allows me to interact clearly with the client at various levels - communicating in a way that they can understand and staying aware of their body language, tone of voice and facial expression as well as any surges of energy or emotion arising from their soul.

I move into this state using something I call Medicine Body. This is a simple and effective technique (described in more depth in my workshops and my book) that extends my conscious awareness into my aura. This allows me a much deeper and holistic perspective of what is going on with the client. It feels as if the client is floating inside me and I can sense the flow of their energies very clearly. This also engages my intuitive sense and I find that I am aware of what lies beneath the words the client may be using to describe their problem. Knowing this, I can speak to that deeper level, engaging it in the healing process more immediately. 

There are other SSC that range much more deeply, and which make it more challenging for me to remain connected with, and able to communicate effectively, with the client. It takes more energy to maintain the sense of being in two places at once. This is particularly true when journeying with a client. In shamanic body I may be in a different world all together and communicating there directly to the part of them that is present there as well, but in order to have the client be able to take in the work, I need to also be speaking in my physical body to their physical body. 

Moving beyond the work with a client in an office setting, I want to speak briefly of work in other settings. For instance, performing a sweat lodge ceremony entails moving through many layers of consciousness and back again, while creating space that allows for the participants in the sweat to move through these payers with me. It begins around the fire with the opening of the space that is at once emerging from the center of the fire and from the stone pit in the lodge. This is a treatment of space that is essential to much of shamanic practice - the paradoxical sense of One Center. Entering the Lodge brings another deepening and it sometimes takes a teaching story or prayer/chant to ground that before continuing. Each round of stones is a deepening as well, until it becomes clear that it is time to return, and then the journey back needs to be crafted in a gentle way as well, allowing for a safe and comfortable return by all the participants. 

Over the years, I have been gifted with many teachings to make the movement into SSC and back again. But I am also always finding places and states that are new to me; providing new lessons and new teachings. Every day I go into my office, knowing that I will learn something new. It may not always be comfortable or easy, but it is this constant growth and learning that keep this work fresh and alive for me and those with whom I work. Many thanks to all of them and to my many teachers - in both human and spirit form. 

namaste

Becoming a Man of Power

I remember reading Carlos Castaneda's "Don Juan" books back in High School and being fascinated by the idea of a Man of Power. As I recall it now, this was a man who was constantly going beyond his limitations, feared by his enemies, with Death walking beside him. At the time, for a wounded teenager who had no idea where he belonged, this seemed like a good way to be. I wouldn't need anyone. I would be completely self-sufficient. I would be afraid of nothing and others would fear me. 

It wasn't until many years later, when I was studying more authentic versions of native Medicine ways that I discovered that the traditional view of the Man of Power is really quite different. To traditional native people, a Man of Power is someone who is living a good life, in balance with spirit, honoring his ancestors, caring for his descendants. Someone who others look to for advice or help when needed; trusted by his friends and family. A man of integrity, with a good home, a loving wife and healthy children. This is one who is blessed by the spirits, and that is a Man of Power. 

This is a very different vision than what I had read about back in High School, and it led me to consider some of the clear differences in our modern culture - relative to tradition ones - that lead us to believe that power is always something to use against others. 

It seems to me that our modern Western culture, especially here in the US, is more than a little bit like that wounded teenager I used to be. It seeks to overcompensate for its feelings of vulnerability by being so big and scary that no one will come near. It doesn't trust the good will of others, and is more motivated by its fear than by its real strength. Unfortunately, too many of us living here have become reflections of this cultural model. I know that I myself and still healing the wounds of that teenager, slowly realizing that I do belong after all and that there is room for me to explore the gifts that my ancestors granted me.

This is a message that is slow to come to people living here in this beautiful land. This is a place where money and possessions have been given great value, so that those without these things are considered powerless, helpless and pathetic. People here have forgotten that money is nothing more than a means of storing and directing energy. Perhaps it is because they have forgotten their connections to earth, ancestors and spirit that they have put so much onto money. But I can see what an empty goal it is, when that becomes an end in and of itself.

The only true power, in the traditional sense, comes from living a life in balance; honoring your ancestors; caring for those who you love; treating others as you would have them treat you. I have been walking this path for awhile now, setting aside the old wounds and taking up joy. In doing so, my life has changed completely. It has not been easy. The old wounds are hard to let go of. But the result is that I live a fulfilling life. I love my wife and look forward to having a family with her. My work is easy and rewarding, because it flows from within me. I am loved, respected and appreciated by those who are important to me. This is heaven. This is becoming a Man of Power. 

Identity theft?

Something happened the other day that really got to me - and then, the very fact that it had rocked me so much, got to me more. What happened was that I got a bill for a magazine I had not ordered. When I called them to find out what was going on, they told me that I had "ordered it online." Since I knew that I had done no such thing, I asked them to give me the contact information. They had the right name, address and phone, but someone else's email address. I pointed this out to them and asked to be taken off their mailing list. After hanging up, I felt rotten - like I have been invaded somehow. This person had masqueraded as me and gotten away with it. How could that be? The part of me that thinks of itself as unique and special was feeling quite bruised. 

It took awhile for the edge to come off my irritation and for me to begin considering the event from a different perspective. What really happened? Probably someone got ahold of my contact information and used it to fill an online sales quota. That has nothing to do with me. They probably have no idea who "I" am, nor do they care. So why do I take this so personally? 

We hear about identity theft becoming more and more common, but what are we really talking about? Is my identity the sum of all the numbers that make up my address, car registration, birth date, etc? Do those figures in fact define me in any way? Somehow I doubt it. What they DO is locate me in space and time. They say "Kenn is the person who is right here and was born at this time in this place." They are labels of events in the time space continuum, "identifying" me by notations of when and where, but they are not definitions of who I am. 

This leads me to consider: If these are not my identity, what is? On a purely physical level, there are literally millions of tiny organisms that make up my body, and it is only the efficacy of their communal interface that allows me to breathe, eat and move - not to mention think and speak. This is a rather uncomfortable thing to really dwell on, but I cannot think of it as "me." 

On a more esoteric level, I have three souls: The soul of my physical presence that is tied to this world; the soul that will return to my ancestors; and, the soul that will come back for other lifetimes, as it has before. Is the co-mingling of these etheric elements the basis for my identity? 

By now my head is spinning. What is identity anyway? In mundane terms it does refer to those pieces of information that separate you from everyone else for the sake of legal purposes. My name, social security number, driver's license, address, phone number - all of these are saying in some way: "this is me - that is not me." So "I" am the one who makes this statement, yes? When I sit down to meditate, it is "me" who is taking a seat on the zafu; "me" who is seeking the inner Stillness; "me" who is observing the breath; "me" who. . . but wait! If I am the one observing, who is it that is observed? 

So here we are at the real problem: We don't really know who we are. This is perhaps because our "self" is more mystery than fact. But it is this discomfort of realizing that we truly do not know who this thing called "self" is that keeps us grasping at the straws of identity. There is no "self" in terms of numbers or concrete object. There is only a wavefront of consciousness, arising from the vast and incoherent community of organisms, souls, memories, connections, preferences and loyalties that masquerades - for a little while - as someone we call "ourself". 

Now - when I consider the copy of TV Guide I just threw out, I am somewhat more at peace. 

consideration of initiation

It's been awhile since my last post. I've started a few, but they've just not come together. And I'm going through one of those spells where everything seems. . . harder - more difficult and demanding than it really should. Never-the-less. . . I've been taking part in some discussions about initiation in a few different places and it's been bringing up some old questions. 

Initiation comes in many ways, but it comes down to a few essentials - necessary elements. 1) The person has to be capable of doing the work. This means having the talent to heal. 2) The spirits have to have noticed the person - and then begun trying to get their attention. This could be anything from an illness or loss to a life threatening accident or being struck by lightning. 3) The person has to be prepared. This preparation consists of whatever it takes to sensitize the initiate to the energies and presence of the spirits. It generally requires painful loss and ego destroying experiences that leave the person reeling and open. 

As I write this, I can feel the blind spots I still have around this whole process. I know there is still a part of me that wants to somehow justify NOT being a shaman; that would like all this crazy stuff to go away and allow me to lead a "normal" life. I also know it's not going to happen. It was only after years of looking back at my childhood that I realized just how deeply I have been impacted and transformed by the death of my family - and other experiences that I'm still not comfortable addressing in such an open forum. And yet, it's still hard for me to look at it - to put all the pieces together - and then see the complete image that the pieces make: The image of myself as a shaman. Parts of me that learned to disassociate at an early age, which allow me to enter into the healing trances in which I do my work, also want to keep me from accepting the truth of this at any deeper level. It's an on-going struggle. 

Another element in my own process of becoming a shaman was the actual realization - the looking into the puzzle/mirror and seeing that image reflected back at me through the limited work I was already doing. The retroactive tour of my early life - most of it still clouded - that made me accept this transformation/awakening came even later. First there was the recognition that what I was doing was shamanism. Then there was the gradual realization that I was a shaman - followed by the understanding that this process had been going on my whole life. (Apparently I'm a slow learner.) 

There is a lot of discussion around the crisis of awakening to the shamanic consciousness - the realization that you are going to be doing the bidding of those "psychological allegories" we call "spirits." In my own case, it was a series of crisis which I survived, one after another, until I belatedly woke up and realized what was happening. After all, I have spent most of my childhood and a good bit of my early adulthood in a fog. I still feel that it is only gradually lifting - that I am beginning to see the world in all it's profound beauty and intricacy only now. I suspect this process is going to continue for quite some time. 

I still have questions about the role I am accepting. I know that it feels to my deeper self that I am answering the call of the spirits and that I am here in service to the community of souls that includes humanity, the earth and much more. I also have my doubts. There are times when I hear about the shamans who can actually shapeshift - or levitate - or in some other way really transcend the apparent rigidity of this physical existence - and I wonder if what I am doing is "real." But Grandfather has long taught me  that there are different kinds of "real" - just as there are different kinds of shamans. The work that I do with my clients fulfills some deep hunger in my soul. When I watch someone awakening deeper layers of herself; breaking out of the box of ego and fear and habit - I KNOW that I am doing what I need to, and that there is something that thanks me. That this is all part of something greater than anything I can imagine, and that I am - to some extent - placing myself into alignment with that greater presence. I don't know that I can ask more than that. 

namaste

Blood, Sweat and Community

I am just returning from teaching a weekend workshop on ceremonies, which climaxed with a sweat lodge on Saturday night. I am so grateful for the generosity of the Grandfathers - the spirits that come to us through the heated stones, offering us healing, blessings and medicine teachings. As usual with such an event, I am humbled by the greatness of those who come before me; those upon whose shoulders I stand - and also by the courage and spirit of those who have chosen to call me their teacher. They, of all people, know how human and fallible I am, and yet they still listen to what I have to say and take on the ordeal of the medicine lodge with me. 

Over the past twenty years, I have worked many sweats - so far, this was the best one yet. We had expected to have to journey and work with the spirits for some time to find the perfect place for the lodge, and yet, when we started walking the land we were all immediately drawn to the perfect location. We thought, "the river is to the south, to the door will point that way which must be east", but when we checked it with a compass (for some strange reason) we found that the river was in the west and that the door opened to the south. In the Sheya tradition, South is the direction of consciousness, awareness and community. It hit me then: "This lodge is about community." 

Unlike so many other lodges we've built, this one is semi-permanent and will be available for us to do many more sweats, which will also increase the opportunities for those apprentices who want to learn the roles of Firetender, Doorkeeper and Pourer. Not only is it in a lovely setting, but the nearby house is a natural retreat center. Quite handy.

The stones were beautiful and strong. In spite of the larger size of the lodge, it got quite hot enough. The purification rounds were particularly . . . effective. 

It wouldn't be appropriate for me to go into too much detail on what the others experienced, but I got some good work done myself - letting go of some heart and soul wounds, as well as some blisters on my fingers I got while moving a hot log earlier in the evening. The stars were out when we emerged from the lodge. The feast was great - and then I think I passed out on the floor before being told to go to bed. These things really take it out of me. 

I realize this entry is a bit disjointed, rambling and unfocused, which is a good description of how I am - the day after a powerful sweat.

namaste

Good Teachers, Ego and

I want to write something about how difficult it has been for me to find a really good teacher in this lifetime; how my own ego got in my way and made it hard to accept anything less than amazing master teachers; and, how I have managed to find a few of those - in spite of myself. But it's hot, humid and my brain cells are moving at a perfectly appropriate speed for this set and setting - just this side of completely stopped. So - I will give it a shot. 

As I've already stated, I have found it almost impossible to locate a "good teacher." Most of this was due to the fact that, my childhood being what it was, I hadn't a very high regard for authority or those who felt they had a right to wield it. That cut out quite a few teachers from the start. Then there are my admittedly high-ish quality standards for both form and content of anything I would be willing to take the trouble to learn. I felt I needed to have a true master from which to learn, so - even when I took a class from someone - I didn't really accept them as my Teacher. That would have been admitting that they knew more than I did. And as insecure as I was, that was the last thing I could have done. My loss.

In spite of all that I managed to run into Elisheva; an amazing woman who was at the time - some 20 plus years ago - everything I always wanted to be when - if - I grew up. Or at least that's how it appeared to me. Because of this, she managed to hold my attention long enough to get some core lessons across to me - all without me even noticing. I'm still not sure how she managed some of it. All I know is that I think I was looking the other direction when it happened. She remains my best friend and mentor to this day. 

About 17 years ago I heard about a weekend of Tai Chi workshops being held over in Northern Kentucky and decided to go down and check it out. I had been teaching Yang style Tai Chi in a haphazard way for some 5 years and thought I pretty well had the whole thing figured out. With a strong grounding in Chinese Medicine and QiGong, I knew more than the average Tai Chi instructor.    . . . Master Ting was NOT your average Tai Chi

instructor. After that first workshop I stopped teaching Tai Chi, because I realized that I knew nothing about Tai Chi. Master TIng was like the blind monk who taught Kwai Chang Kane in that old TV series Kung Fu - except that he wasn't blind and he has never taught me how to use throwing stars. At least not yet. Master Ting is amazing. He truly is a Master - both as a martial artist and a teacher - so of course it took me more than a few years to get around to working with him again. Now - at long last I am taking workshops from him a few times a year. Even bringing him to Cincinnati to teach once a year. (You should really ask me about that if you have any interest in excellent martial arts.) 

Finally, there is Heinz Stark. Back in 2001 I was teaching a series of Shamanic workshops in Cornwall as part of a tour I was leading there. (see my book Dance of Stones: A Shamanic Road Trip) My friend Lisa (Soli in DOS) had just been introduced to Constellation Work in Germany and was overflowing with enthusiasm for this new technique. I asked her to show us how it worked and we wound up spending every evening doing constellations instead of what I had planned. I was blown away by the power and possibilities of the work - as was Patricia who was along on that trip as well.

Lisa gave Patricia and I a present of some Constellation Work with some German facilitators on our next visit to Berlin, and we became even more enthralled. We had to find a way to study it - but couldn't see spending a couple years in Germany (though I was beginning to consider it). Fortunately, another friend and one of my shamanic apprentices at the time found that there was an in-depth training being offered up in Racine, WI. We checked into it and it was clearly too expensive and too time consuming for us to do do - so I went anyway. After the first weeklong seminar, Patricia joined - and we have been facilitating together ever since. But that beginning was not easy. I had to look at Heinz, with all his very human foibles, and accept that he had something very valuable to teach me. That was the first time I knowingly accepted someone as my teacher. And I've never regretted it. 

Now I am hoping to find yet another teacher - and hope to be open to whatever adventure they have in store for me - kicking and screaming all the way. 

namaste