Catching up

I seem to be having difficulties coming up with something to add to this blog. It's not that there are not interesting and meaningful things happening in my life. On the contrary, I've not been bored in many years. The problem is that so much of what is important right now is not something I want to share in such a public forum. 

However, I can say that I am very happy and excited that Patricia and are expecting a child to join our family towards the end of next May. If someone had told me even ten years ago that I would be happily becoming a father, I would have laughed it off. But a lot has changed in those ten years and I am now looking forward to the adventure of parenting. 

As I mentioned, I've been trying to write something for this blog for a couple of weeks now, but I don't get very far before I run into a wall. This time I've decided to stubbornly hack my way through the wall and get SOMETHING published - no matter what the quality of it. 

One of the interesting bits that's come up of late is having my book out there on amazon.com. I see that it's being read by more and more people who I don't know and who have purchased and read the book without ever laying eyes on me. There's something that is happening there that goes beyond my understanding. I don't know if it's as simple as knowing that my words are touching people I've never spoken to - or what, but there is a definite sense of accomplishment to it. Also a sense of satisfaction, as if I am responding to some old and deeply buried geas. There is also the sense of spirit reaching through me to connect with those who read the book and are touched by it, perhaps awakening to their own journey more fully. That certainly makes all the work that went into it worthwhile. And the public library even ordered 8 copies!

Then there is the whole economic hulabaloo. I will just say that I feel for those who are loosing their retirement income, but I am not convinced that this is not a good thing for us in the long run. The US has been on an artificial economic footing since the end of WW II, and it needs to rebalance. It would do the whole world some good if we moved away from our fascination with consumerism and returned to a more conservative economy - buying only what we needed instead of constantly purchasing the latest, newest and most quickly obsolete merchandise to feed a hunger created by the non-stop commercial programming we are subjected to from every direction. 

Okay - what else? I've been working on a training program for Sheya mentors. The first module has been put together and it looks like it will happen in late January. It feels like this will be a very important element in what Sheya is to become, laying strong groundwork for those who come after us. It's almost like building the infrastructure for our descendants to use. I'm looking forward to see how it works - exploring the process of teaching the mentors how to teach others. 

Blogs are a strange way to publish. They seems to take the form of serious essays or - more frequently - rambling conversations. I think I've tried a little of both so far. No photos for this entry though. Nothing that seems to fit. Perhaps the next time, I will find the image first and then build the words around it.  

Post Election Reflections

Okay - a bit of an interruption for the elections there. Very exciting to see Hamilton county go blue! The election of Barak Obama certainly appeals to the optimist in me. All the economic gloom may take us awhile to work our way out of, but it may also have been the only thing that allowed Obama to be elected by such a strong majority - or perhaps at all. And it is clear to me that we need this person at this time to help begin the changes that need to happen if we are to survive - not just as a nation but as a planet.

Change continues in every moment, with every breath. It is not just something that comes to us in tsunami-like waves, as it did with this election, but with every choice we make. To paraphrase a billboard about seat belts, "it's not just a good idea - it's how things work."

Life has a way of teaching us the lessons we need - long before we have any idea we need them. I suppose that's why mindfulness shows up in so many practices. If we aren't paying attention - we miss the lesson. I think that one of the lessons I've learned over the course of the past few elections is that our choices do not operate in a vacuum. Other people have a choice too. And when there are more of them - or if their choice is more powerfully manifested - the change will be the one they choose. 

I know it felt really good to be an active part of the campaign to elect Obama (thank you, Patricia) and that for the first time in 8 years I feel comfortable and proud to be a citizen of the U.S.A. However, I also think back to how I felt after those last two elections - the sense of profound exclusion; of being disenfranchised from the American identity. I remember talking with others about the possibility of moving to Canada, because we no longer felt like we belonged here. Now it is those who voted for the other candidate who feel that way, and this is an opportunity to practice compassion for those who made the less powerful choice. Even if that compassion is not received, it is still good for us to feel it - to choose it - at this time and place in our personal and communal history. 

namaste

Vision Quest Aftermath

I just got back early this week from a vision quest that lasted from Friday afternoon to Monday morning and I've been trying to write about it with no success. At first it was the lack of verbal thoughts, which persisted all of Monday and a bit into Tuesday morning. Having spent some time out on the front porch with my pipe and a wee dram, things are a bit more clear now. 

Perhaps the first reason that it is difficult to put down in words is due simply to the state of consciousness that comes on after a day or so of sitting in the woods with no company, no food and little water or sleep. We went out on Friday afternoon and prepared our secluded positions, taking them up that evening in the continuing rain. After the first night, I was probably already more altered than I realized at the time. That's often the way of things. I was chanting and meditating a lot, with the intention of altering my consciousness, so it's hardly surprising. But it wasn't until Sunday that I really noticed the extend to which I was no longer in ordinary state. I found that I was actually staggering a bit when I did my morning QiGong. 

The second reason it's difficult to put into words is that much of what happened seemed to be happening to a part of me that was not directly experiencing it. There was at least one point at which I had the distinct impression that my soul had gone on a journey without "me" and that I would only find out about it later. (I'm still waiting.)

Then there's the fact that what realizations I had were fairly . . . compact. For instance, a glimpse of myself in slow motion explosion from my center/the one center which is everywhere/everything constantly emerging from that one center which is everywhere. . . that sort of thing. And GrandFather mentioning that I should really consult him more before doing something like a vision quest (oops!).

But this quality of vagary predated the vision quest as well. Going into it, I realized that I have never led anyone else into this particular process before. I've been teaching shamanic practices since the early 90's, but none of my apprentices have gotten to this point before. (And I'm quite impressed with these two for having made it!) So there was a lot of consideration that went into just how this was going to work. On the one hand, there are no clear parameters for what constitutes a "vision quest" outside of particular medicine societies. So I had to look at my own experiences (should have asked GrandFather) and come up with something that was workable. Then I began thinking, "this is not a coming of age ritual. These are sovereign adults. They should make their own choices about what elements they will include." And so I began drawing back from the role of "teacher" into more of a facilitator position for their process. 

Okay - that's all I'm up for tonight. More on this tomorrow.

Notes From the Road. . . New Jersey Edition

I am sitting in a room at the Mt Laurel Extendedstay, enjoying the in room WiFi that I'm hoping will allow me to catch up on blog entries and other writing projects that have been getting put off in favor of more immediate (read urgent rather than important) and more enjoyable (Couch of happiness with Patricia.) pursuits. 

So - what's been keeping me so busy?

The weekend before last I had promised Patricia - my Lovely & Talented wife - that I would pull out the honeysuckle shrubs beside the garage and replace them with a terraced rock wall. It all sounded relatively simple until I actually started getting my hands dirty. It wound up taking pretty much the whole weekend and allowed me a preview of heavy lifting that will no doubt be coming when we get further along with the Stone Circle at hope Springs. (More of that later) I did manage to get it done and even had the leisure of contemplating the ironic act of removing one set of "decorative" plants to make way for another. This led to the following poem.

Gardening

Gloves keep 

skin on my hands

as I wrangle rough stones 

into place

stacking a wall

between dirt and more dirt

building good boundaries

for new plants 

to reach beyond

I carry the old ones away

they have overgrown their welcome

and now I must pry

their adventurous roots

from between buried rocks and

send them on their way

The rest of the week was filled with clients, preparation for the annual Sheya Retreat and other projects - and almost at the last minute, creating the promotional post card for the 2009 LumensGate. 

This is a labour of love - and one of those times that I actually get to make some use of my years of art training. I like the outcome, though I might still tweak it a bit before printing up more of them. But the important things was to get them done in time for the Sheya Retreat this past weekend, so that the Sheya from other regions could take some back with them. 

For those of you who don't already know - LumensGate is one of the best-kept secrets of the spiritual community. Mind you, we aren't TRYING to keep the secret. It's just that we have a hard to getting it out - so feel free to spread the word. LumensGate is definitely ready for prime time. After 18 years of experience, this is the premier ritual event in the United States. (and possibly the rest of the world, but I haven't checked, so I'll hold off on that claim.) The problem is - there are not a lot of others competing for the accolade, so it often falls on deaf ears.

So let me tell you a little about what LumensGate is. From the time people begin arriving on the land, the sense of shared consciousness begins to grow and deepen. With the opening ritual - the lighting of the sacred fire and the formal connection of all our hearts and souls to the One Center - we enter into a shared experience of spiritual awakening and transformation. The personal interactions with others of like-mind and similar spirit add spice to the work of preparing the participants for the impact of the ritual cycle. Evenings at the hot tub or around the heart fire deepen the sense of shared joy and openness. Daily meditation and yoga help to bring bodies, minds and spirits into union, and the food at Hope Springs nourishes the palate as well as the body. Essentially everything that happens - both planned and not planned - contributes to the gentle movement toward the ritual climax - usually on Friday evening. 

After the main ritual, we begin the process of integration - gently welcoming the changes into our lives; acknowledging what has been released and making room for the new energies and awareness. This continues through Saturday evening, when the feast and bardic circle provide opportunities for all those gathered to share their own creative expressions in the loving and warm embrace of this community that has become "home" in such a short time. The closing ritual is followed by tearful farewells and many long hugs. And the community continues throughout the year, as we look forward to the next opportunity to meet in person; welcome new faces; and join hands and hearts around the fire once again. 

For anyone interested, we do have a LumensGate FaceBook group - as well as our own website: lumensgate.org. 

The Sheya retreat - taking place at Hope Springs as well - is a smaller gathering of folks, sharing the transformative path of soul awakening and growth. The retreat went very well this year . It was great to have both longtime Sheya and newly "hatched" ones, with many in between. 

It was especially sweet to gather around the table at meals and share the wonderful food and company, swapping stories, telling jokes and remembering those who not able to join us this year. 

So - here I am in New Jersey - catching up with my writing and deepening my Tai Chi practice with the amazing Master Ting.

I drove directly from the airport to the Tai Chi class last night, arriving just a little late, but very happy to be able to finish an otherwise exhausting day with some movement of my body and chi.

Shamanic States of Consciousness

There is a lot written about the experience of trance - some of it quite excellent. However, I thought I would take a shot at it this morning. 

First off - the idea of "altered state" is difficult to clearly delineate, since the boundaries of our "ordinary" state of consciousness are so unclear as it is. That said, most of us car recognize an altered state once we are in it. In, my own experience, there is often a dream like quality, and my body seems to move more fluidly and feel heavier. However, some of the most effective states can feel very similar to the ordinary state. 

When I talk about shamanic states of consciousness (hereafter SSC), I am focusing on those states which allow me to function as a shaman. This includes the ability to simply perceive and express from a soul level of awareness. This is the base level of SSC for me. It allows me to sense what is going on with myself and a client in a non-rational, non-intellectual manner that cuts through the thinking mind and directly addresses the deeper parts, which is where my work is. This state is a very present, focussed awareness, which doesn't feel too different from ordinary consciousness. And yet it is the one most useful to the work I do, since it allows me to interact clearly with the client at various levels - communicating in a way that they can understand and staying aware of their body language, tone of voice and facial expression as well as any surges of energy or emotion arising from their soul.

I move into this state using something I call Medicine Body. This is a simple and effective technique (described in more depth in my workshops and my book) that extends my conscious awareness into my aura. This allows me a much deeper and holistic perspective of what is going on with the client. It feels as if the client is floating inside me and I can sense the flow of their energies very clearly. This also engages my intuitive sense and I find that I am aware of what lies beneath the words the client may be using to describe their problem. Knowing this, I can speak to that deeper level, engaging it in the healing process more immediately. 

There are other SSC that range much more deeply, and which make it more challenging for me to remain connected with, and able to communicate effectively, with the client. It takes more energy to maintain the sense of being in two places at once. This is particularly true when journeying with a client. In shamanic body I may be in a different world all together and communicating there directly to the part of them that is present there as well, but in order to have the client be able to take in the work, I need to also be speaking in my physical body to their physical body. 

Moving beyond the work with a client in an office setting, I want to speak briefly of work in other settings. For instance, performing a sweat lodge ceremony entails moving through many layers of consciousness and back again, while creating space that allows for the participants in the sweat to move through these payers with me. It begins around the fire with the opening of the space that is at once emerging from the center of the fire and from the stone pit in the lodge. This is a treatment of space that is essential to much of shamanic practice - the paradoxical sense of One Center. Entering the Lodge brings another deepening and it sometimes takes a teaching story or prayer/chant to ground that before continuing. Each round of stones is a deepening as well, until it becomes clear that it is time to return, and then the journey back needs to be crafted in a gentle way as well, allowing for a safe and comfortable return by all the participants. 

Over the years, I have been gifted with many teachings to make the movement into SSC and back again. But I am also always finding places and states that are new to me; providing new lessons and new teachings. Every day I go into my office, knowing that I will learn something new. It may not always be comfortable or easy, but it is this constant growth and learning that keep this work fresh and alive for me and those with whom I work. Many thanks to all of them and to my many teachers - in both human and spirit form. 

namaste

Notes From the road. . . part II

I've been out in Palm Springs with Keter and Patricia for the past week, soaking up warm desert sun rays and thinking progressively slower thoughts - but we leave tomorrow for home and I wanted to blog some highlights before returning. For one thing, as soon as I get back to Cincinnati, I have to drive up to Detroit for a promotional event and then to another one up in Ann Arbor. So I have very little breathing space. Better to blog now and not worry about it for a few more days. That's the plan in any case.

We spent the first day here just winding down and getting used to not being on email or the phone. We had some vague plans of getting massages - which never actually happened - and of taking some hikes - which did happen. The days all run together for me right now, but I know we did get to the Living Desert which is right here in Palm Desert. That is a combination botanical garden and zoo. Much fun! We saw some great hawks; watched a couple bobcats playing with each other; etcetera. 

On Sunday, Patricia and I took the car into San Diego to visit my half brother Michael. This was the first time I've seen him since meeting him when he first visited a few years ago. It was good. We met his wife, Cris who seems interesting and intelligent. We enjoyed their house which reminded me of the place we stayed on the slopes above the Loga Magori (?) in Switzerland. It has a great view of the valley and all the way out to the ocean. After lunch with them, we drove on to visit with Patricia's sister Margaret and her family near Mission Viejo. That went well too. It was a good day for making family connections. (I'm not sure if our brief visit to Camp Pendleton had any impact on that.)

Keter talked us into visiting "Shields Date Farm" and trying the date ice cream (thank you, Keter). It was terrific! Not too sweet but very rich and delicious. We have a pint in the freezer at the time share to finish off after dinner tonight. 

I think it was Tuesday that we had planned to take the tram up to the San Jacinto State Park and sniff the butterscotch pines. Unfortunately, we discovered that the tram is down for 

annual maintenance this week, which is a good thing for all those tourists who will be using it for the next year, but not so great for us. So we figured out where the tram would have deposited us and then drove as close as could to that - a beautiful drive up into the San Bernadino Mountains - and then hiked from there for a couple miles up the mountain. On our way, sniffing the amazing butterscotch pines (you have to smell them to believe it!) we encountered a rattle snake under a rock beside the trail and had to work our way around it. The views were amazing. (I will add some photos as soon as I can get them loaded onto the computer. That cord is not with me.)

Yesterday we took the day off. Read out books and dozed pretty much all day. This morning Keter and I headed out to the Joshua Tree State Forest, while Patty stayed behind to work on a paper for her yoga teacher training. Once again, an amazing drive. We went past the air farms at the head of the valley. Over 4,000 wind turbines are located there. Patricia and I like to think of them a huge dharma wheels sending prayers for peace and compassion out to the world. 

Our first hike of the day was the Hidden Valley train. Only a 1 mile loop through great boulders, with several different kinds of lizards, pinion pine, desert oak and - of course - Joshua trees, which feel very good. No particular adventure there. Just a nice walk with great views. 

The second hike - considerably more exciting - was up the Ryan Mountain trail which took us past what we later learned was a mature  Southwestern Speckled Rattlesnake. I had just passed it when I heard a short rattle and froze. Keter saw it and urged me to hurry and move past it, then we turned around and she showed 

me where it was hanging out under a low bush. On the way back we carefully worked our way around it without anyone getting hurt. However, I was beginning to wonder what the deal was with two rattlers showing up on our trails. That is still weighing on my mind a bit.

In all, it's been a great time here - thank you, Keter - and a much needed rest. Even though I'm going back to a very busy weekend, I do so pretty refreshed and ready to dive back into it all. I'm even thinking about getting to work on some of my other writing projects. . . .

namaste from the road.

Adventures Off the Grid

It turns out that the high winds on Sunday were actually a level one hurricane - without the water. They certainly did a lot of damage to the area. We were very lucky. Several roof tiles went flying and we wound up with a lot of debris in our yard, but the major impact was the loss of electric from about 1:30 on Sunday afternoon until 8:30 this morning (Tuesday). I would like to be able to report that it was no problem for me to be without electric for a couple days - other than the loss of the food that went bad. The truth is though that it was the simple things that I missed. Being able to turn on the lights to read - or to simply find my way around the house - after the sun goes down. That was probably the biggest one. 

The first evening we sat at the dining room table, Patricia working on her 108 mala project and me trying to re-string my green adventurine malas. I think she got seven finished in the time it took me to thread my beads, reconnecting all the pieces into a single whole. Then we went to bed and read, Patricia with her little miner's lamp headband lamp and me with my book light, the cats quietly competing for the "best spot" on the bed.

Monday morning, I had to open Patricia's garage door manually, and it wouldn't close after that. I wasn't worried. We had left the garage doors open before with no trouble. We've come to trust and appreciate our neighbors, and it didn't feel like a risk. Tai Chi class was cancelled - no power at the yoga studio where I teach - so I got home early, around 5:30. I thought I would use up what I could of the food in the fridge and make a large dinner with enough to share with Patricia when she got home later. The pasta was just about done when I looked out the window and thought I was someone pushing a shopping cart into our garage. I checked the time - three minutes before I had to pull the macaroni out of the water - and headed out the back door. 

Standing in the middle of the garage floor was a Kroger's shopping cart, being loaded up by a fat, middle-aged, white male in shorts and a white t-shirt. I asked him what he thought he was doing in our garage and got no answer. I asked him for his ID and he claimed not to have any. When I asked where he lived, he claimed to live on down the street on Graselli. He said his name was Jim and his breath smelled like cheap alcohol. I asked if he had already made other trips with the cart and he said no. It hit me that I had pasta ready to pull off the stove so I told him to go home and I would be calling the cops. I just wanted him off our property. I headed back to the house, turning to watch him push his, now empty, cart on down the street. 

I had just finished putting dinner together when I noticed blue & white flashing lights out back and watched two police cars pull to the curb. I went out to see if I could report the fellow with the cart. When I got to the car, it turned out that they had been called by our neighbors in the apartment house across the street when they saw me confront the fellow in our garage. Then another one of the neighbors said he knew who the guy was and where he lived. He offered to show the officers and they left together. 

A little while later, I was sitting on the front porch, eating my half of the dinner I had made directly from the casserole dish while waiting for the cops to return. They came back with the guy in the back seat and asked me to identify him - which I did - and then showed me the weed trimmer and hedge trimmer in the trunk and asked if they were mine. I said they were and they asked if there was anything else missing. I had already told them that Patricia is the detail oriented one, but I went into the garage and looked around with a flashlight, before coming back just in time for Patty to drive up. Together we drove to the guy's apartment and collected a number of other items he had made off with, including an old TV that had been there when we bought the house and one of my grippo boxes full of old collectible (I hope) comic books. 

There were more details, but I think that's enough for now. It's good to have the lights back on. Good to be able to catch up on email - and blog entries. And it's good to know my neighbors keep an eye on things.