Saturday, June 14, 2008

Dueling with my demons

The Sheya community is going through some interesting changes lately. Which in turn are stirring up some interesting issues and generating good discussion. What I find fascinating is that it's so easy to not see when something is our own issue. We become so determined that this thing is right and proper and that others just are not seeing the truth of it that we loose all sight of how things actually are. 

One of the issues that has come up is that of providing certificates of completion for those going through an initiation. For some reason, this hits me right in one of my own issues. I obviously need to work this out before taking it to the rest of the community.

It my mind, the initiations are tremendously sacred and powerful doorways into the sacred Mysteries that lie at the heart of the human experience. As such, it strikes me a somewhat absurd to go through such a transformative, mind-blowing experience and then be handed a certificate that states that you have, in fact, been through this experience. It's kind of like getting a certificate that states that you have received a tattoo - isn't the experience itself certification enough? Apparently not. 

So how do I address this? I recognize that my response is based on my own deep reverence for the initiatory process which I feel would be defiled by certification. But would it? Would the Mysteries be changed or lessened in any way if we handed the initiates a piece of paper afterwards that proclaims that they are now an a certified initiate? Hmmmmm. . . .

There are other questions that have been raised by the recently announced changes to our mentoring program, but most of them don't even ruffle my feathers. So I can tell that this one has managed to run right into one of my own personal shadows. Perhaps I am afraid that if we are not properly respectful of these awesome mysteries, that they will cease to function for us. Isn't that a little like being afraid that gravity will stop working if I don't brush my teeth? 

But what to do? The reality of it is: I really don't WANT there to be anything that lessens or distorts the impact of the initiations in any way - and there is nothing I can really do about that other than to continue to honor them and to provide the best and clearest initiations that I can, training other initiators to do the same. And I believe that I need to give our students the opportunity - should they so desire it - to have another piece of paper to hang on their walls.


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